There are some things that you can’t control. It’s the deal we made when we became adults and agreed to put away our childish ways. Or is the intention as we grow on. But then things changed. We kept getting older. The weight went away a little slower, and our shrinking tolerance has followed suit.  

Welcome to being stuck in our ways.

We have found our rhythm and preferences. I mean, whose fault is it anyway? 

Everywhere we look, we are offered choices that cater to our needs. We like our food a certain way. We want to wear particular clothes, use certain fragrances, pick specific friends, all done in a way that feeds our wants and needs. The one thing that I forgot to mention is you also have to share space in the world with other people who might not care.

Now we have a problem. Say you have a neighbor who is too noisy for your liking. Everything they do is loud or intrusive. It is to the point that everything they do irks you. They say hi, it’s loud, their car doors slam too loud, they park too close to your home too many times, and that’s done too loud! You are officially over them.

Now whether it’s a pesky neighbor, partner, family member, friend, or a stranger in traffic, someone will get on your nerves. They will invade your space. They will be too loud. They will smoke, and some will not read the room or care to do so. Now, where does that leave you with your do’s and don’ts? 

Nowhere fast.

You can do one of two things. You can either confront them or talk behind their back or do nothing at all. I meant three things.

Now, you might say, Lesley, these things don’t go away overnight. It is awful, and I am to the point that I can not take it. If it has reached that level, you can always move, but are you always going to move? 

Sometimes some instances repeat themselves because there are nuances that we hide deep down and keep there, so we don’t ruffle feathers. This method works until it complicates your health later on because you bury things inside.

If you’re open to sticking around just a little longer and resist putting the burden on your heart, allow me to offer a new perspective.

You can’t stop the birds from flying. 

Genius right? 

It came to me, and I had to share this analogy. Let me explain. You can’t prevent the bees, or flies from buzzing, or ants from crawling around. You might get some, but they will always come back. It’s the sequence of life. 

I am guilty too. 

I really believe as a society that we forget that other people exist in this world with us. Even if you have a big house on top of the hill, there will eventually be some contact with people. We can design the perfect off-the-grid world in our heads, but we all have to coexist in reality. Whether it’s someone or something that you dislike, it will be there no matter what. How you choose to react will determine its actual value.

Try to go deeper and embrace acceptance. 

Have you ever spoken to a retired person out somewhere, and they struck up a conversation with you? Think about what they focused on. They cared about connecting with you and not about things out of their control. More than likely, they will cheerfully say that they’re happy to open their eyes or see their grandkids or meet you. Clearing mental clutter allows new energy to flow and blossom into something beautiful – more than you could have ever imagined. 

It’s tempting to let the little things bother us and hold us back. 

It makes us feel powerful in a small way. We talk about it to other people, and they chime in and around the cycle continues. Think about what else could be filling up that negative space? The birds will always fly and chirp away. The flies will always buzz around, and so will the bees too. The ants are definitely never going to stop! In other words, what is out of reach and out of your control should be out of your thoughts. 

Maybe it’s time to let that small battle go for the greater good.